Be Selfish Sometimes

It really is true that we do unto others as we do unto ourselves.Those who first love themselves are able to love others more genuinely. As we honor our own wants and needs, we can do the same for others...Those who truly love themselves--as opposed to being self-centered--can trust, accept, and support others from a [better] place...Make a list of the things you would like to do for yourself, but haven't because you thought it would be too selfish. If you do these things, will your life be richer? Will you be happier?...If you answered yes to...these questions, your life and your relationships will benefit from the infusions of a little selfishness.

Sue Patton Thoele, A Woman's Book of Confidence

This was difficult for me to learn. (Let's be honest, I still struggle with caring for myself first.) But it's all about production management. When I take care of myself, I'm better able to care for others and happier while I'm doing it too! It's important to give yourself the rest that you need and deserve. If you have a day that is particularly painful or difficult, treat yourself to something nice. Find ways to lighten the tremendous load of illness by pampering yourself for a bit.

More free advice from a very sick blogger...

Do you ever feel confused, like your life is flying past you, without a lot of clarity on where it's going? This exerpt from the wonderful book My Grandfather's Blessings by Rachel Naomi Remen, a cancer physician and counselor to chronically ill patients for more than 20 years, offers some insights into life and its randomness...

In 1998 Commonweal, the center at which I work, installed a labyrinth exactly like the one that has been in the cathedral at Chartres since 1300...Walking the labyrinth is deceptive. At the beginning one seems to be heading directly for the center when one is actually farthest away from it...Walking the labyrinth causes you to confront the world of illusion, the difference between our hard-edged perception of how the world works and how the world works. It can be a humbling experience...Could events [in my life] that seemed meaningless, or even wasteful, be taking me to a destination as surely as the twisting and turning path I had just followed? Perhaps my path only seemed random because I was still on it. At the end, from the center, would I someday see life as complete and whole and recognize a hidden direction and pattern that redeemed loss and failure and pain and utterly changed their meaning and value? Often it is only as a life becomes complete that the pattern which it upholds it, its underlying meaning, can become visible. (p.50)