Sunday, August 16, 2009

Work, adoption, foster parenting...

So, big stuff is going on right now. I'm finally feeling functional enough to start working 10-15 hours a week, so I applied to some jobs and got 5 interviews within a week! All of them pay well and are less than part-time, so I'm feeling really grateful and blessed. I've had all the interviews but one, and I've already been offered 2 of the jobs. Yeah! I've been feeling better and better, so I'm going to move forward and hope for the best! I love feeling like I'm living a relatively normal life.

As for adoption--my husband and I are starting foster training and adoption preparation. It's kind of overwhelming to think of caring for a child 24/7 when you're only partially functional. Thankfully though, the process for adoption requires several months of training followed by even more waiting. By the time we have the opportunity to foster or adopt, I'll be ready to be a full-time mom. I have a lot of experience working with children. So, I'm hopeful that I can be a good mom, but I want my pain levels to be more stable first. I would never take a child into my home without being able to adequately care for him or her.

I feel like our decision to adopt started long ago in my heart. It started way before I knew I wouldn't be able to have a family in the way that most people do. I've been prepared and excited for this moment. Unfortunately though, I go to the meetings and feel so great about this decision, but then I go home and cry my eyes out because it still isn't easy! Planning a family this way takes a lot of patience and trust: 1. Adoption is really expensive. 2. There's a long waiting period. 3. Adoption agencies scrutinize every aspect of your life. 4. Since there aren't too many people who adopt, you may not receive the same support that a pregnant mom would. Because of the difficulties that adoptive moms face, you especially deserve a typical baby shower and lots of supportive understanding people around you. And you don't deserve any judgment passed on you by those who don't understand your situation.

One of the first things they asked us to do in the adoption meeting is to let all our friends know we're preparing to go forward with the adoption process. If you guys here of anyone (over the next year or so) wanting to put their baby up for adoption, can you please let us know? We are so grateful for you helping us start our family.

As for foster parenting. I've always wanted to be a foster parent. I saw the results of abuse and neglect when I worked for Head Start and it made me passionate about helping and loving children in need. Of course, it's not easy to be a foster parent either: 1. You have to go through lots of training. 2. Foster children are usually taken from their home because of neglect, drug/alcohol or physical abuse. So, there are usually huge behavior, physical, and emotional difficulties. 3.Foster children may stay with you a year and then return to live with their parents, and you will never have contact with them again.

That being said, I would love to be able to help children in need until their parents are able to really care for them. We haven't yet been approved for either adoption or foster parenting, so please pray for us! We're just beginning this journey and hope it ends well. We really appreciate all your prayers and support.

12 comments:

Devin, Abby, and Grady said...

Em first of all you are going to be an AMAZING mom! You are compassionate, selfless, and pretty freakin fun to be around! I have no doubt that you will be a great mom. Any child will be lucky to have you in their life. I love you and we're always praying for you!

chel wakley said...

Of course you are in our prayers. Love you

ramblingandruminating said...

Wow Em I am so excited for you! First it’s great to hear you are feeling better and able to work part-time. I think you’ll enjoy getting social connected with people outside family and church. And the fact you’ve landed two job offers in this economy- well that’s just downright impressive.

And that’s wonderful news about Ben and you embarking on the fostering/adoption journey. I think I’ve talked to you about my views on adoption (family is family, no matter how created!) so please know I’m 100% supportive. I’ve also seen some of the adoption prejudice my parents went through with my brother’s adoption so if you ever need to vent I’m here. Nathan and I look forward to embarking on the same journey in a couple years so please update this blog (as much as you feel is appropriate) with your progress and feelings as I’d love to hear about it! I truly can’t think of two other people I know more well suited to handle the challenges that fostering and adopting presents than you and Ben. And you know the loving reward you’ll gain from it is priceless.

-Kelly

Sara said...

Emily, like the other comments, I too, think that you will make an OUTSTANDING mother and I am so glad to hear that you are feeling well enough to begin this process.
You are in our prayers for sure.
As for foster parenting, I saw at lot of foster kids where I was working in High School and I think that foster parents are a very special, very gifted, very kind-hearted breed. I think that you would do remarkably well; love is a gift of yours, deary, and I knew it within days of meeting you.
Good luck in this exciting journey. Please keep us posted (literally--using your blog!) and we love you guys!!

Ricki said...

You are going to improve the life of any/every child you are given. What a blessing you are! You know I have a soft spot for people who take in someone else's kids. :) Best wishes on the preparation and intense process.

Lindsey Sharp said...

em, I am so happy you are doing good! yeah! em, we will pray for you and Benjamin! We are so excited for you guys to start your family! we feel so blessed to be a part of it all! We love you!
Avery says, "I love you Emily! I really miss you! I really wish I lived with you right now. I really wish you didn't have to move very soon. i never wanted to leave you. I will never forget that smile!!! ( she really said that we are dying! and she is crying)
we love you!!!

MA said...

you guys are amazing and will be awesome parents no matter what! we are so excited for you and will be praying for you too!

I know you already know this but, Heavenly Father knows you and understands you too so keep going forward with your faith and hope in His plan for you and Benjamin! love ya-

Mrs. B said...

Em I'm so happy you're going to be able to work. And of course I think you and Ben will be the best parents!!! Sorry I've been unavailable recently...hopefully Mark will get out of the hospital soon! I'll call when we finally get home.

HALL FAMILY said...

You have the best family support anyone could ever ask for. You really do. I also want you to know that i think about you quite a bit. My dad called me and asked me what your married name was because he thought for sure that was your article in the ensign. I think you hit the nail right on the head about the adoptive parent support on the blog. I got a baby shower and I sent out announcements. It makes it feel more real for you as well as those around you. I just got sealed to Kayze on Saturday in the Columbia temple. It's been an amazing experience. I would love to share them with you sometime. So where did you move to? I really need to make a trip to see Lindsay and her trips also. Adoption agencies are the "morning sickness" of the process. Once you get past that part it's much better. Look on my blog and go back a few pages you can read about my adoption day at least. But I'd love to give you more advice and detail so lets talk via the internet soon. Ask whatever you want to you know and ill do my very best to help. love ya

Jen Bowen said...

I hope things work out as quickly as possible for you guys. We'll keep you in our prayers as well. Being a parent is a lot of hard work but so worth it. I'm so excited for you to become one. Congrats on the job offers!

The Fuller Family said...

You are going to be the best mom! I am so excited for you and Ben. Let me know how it all goes. I thinking about you and praying for you guys. Miss you.

rebecca and eric said...

We are so excited for you! To be working and preparing for children! I knew a couple of amazing families growing up who had foster children, and I can totally see you guys being great at that. So hard but so rewarding. And we'll pray for you with the adoption process! We still want to come to Denver, we'll see...