Monday, October 13, 2008

On personal note...

I remember vividly the day my worst pain flareups began. It was the day of my sister's wedding. I was already struggling to heal and manage a really strict, allergen-free diet. I'd dealt patiently with months of vomiting, tons of weight loss, fatigue, brain fog, clumsiness, and a lot of side effects (just to name a few things). But the day of my sister's wedding, the pain was off the charts! At the time, I didn't realize that horrible pain would become a permanent fixture in my life. I wished I could be rushed to the emergency room, where the doctors could fix whatever was causing me pain, and I'd be cured in a few hours of surgery. Some days I wished I had cancer or diabetes, because at least then people would know and understand my sickness. But that's not my story. Instead I got a invisible chronic illness with a name that people haven't heard before. I did have several expensive surgeries, but no cure, just worsened pain. I got a disease that takes many doctors visits and that requires constant maintenance.

With all this lameness, I continue to count myself as incredibly lucky. I am blessed because I have an incredible husband who helps me get through all this crap. He carries me through the difficult days. When I was vomiting a lot, he would hold my hair back and comfort me as I threw up for hours on end. When I wake up in the night in pain, he holds my hand and asks if I'm okay. I married the most amazing person I've ever met in my entire life. I aspire daily to have more of the traits that my husband embodies. And I'm super grateful he puts up with me! I don't deserve him! He is continually sacrificing to help me. He could write his own blog on how to care for a chronically ill spouse!

8 comments:

Ricki said...

You're a tough chick and your husband is a real man! I am so glad you are sharing your experiences and advice, it helps me appreciate the good things I take for granted and also keep an eye out for warning signs my body gives me when I'm pushing it too hard. You are an inspiration!

chel wakley said...

He is so lucky to have you Em. And I am sure he counts his blessings(you) every day.

Ben and Heidi said...

I agree with Chel you are such an amazing person and I am sure your hubby counts his blessing every day for you but hang on to him because good men are hard to find sometimes.

rebecca and eric said...

I'm glad Benjamin told us about this blog, I've learned a lot about your illness and chronic illness in general from it. Thank you! For example I had no idea that terrible pain was such a part of your illness and life. And to not be able to get any relief!
I loved reading your October 15th survey and I emailed Benjamin about hanging out with you sometime! Oh and I"m glad you liked my sister post!

Brittany said...

Ben is such a great guy! I'm sure he is blessed to have you for a wife. I'm blessed to have you as a friend!

chel wakley said...

Hey guess what I found some earrings like the ones you have that I LOVE. You know I have been searching for them ever since I saw you. I found some at Target but they aren't shiney silver they are more of a dull. But I am very happy. Thanks for starting the darling trend.

katie kortman said...

hey em! I am glad that you are doing this blog! It's a great way to help others, and use your knowledge to help others in similar situations. You are an amazing person, and I really hope you guys end up here someday so we can hang out again!

Abby Ras said...

Em it makes me so sad that my wedding is such a horrible memory for you. Thank you for being there for me on that day, even though you were in such pain (which I didn't know about until weeks later). You are so supportive and a wonderful sister. I love you so much. I'm so grateful for you and for the constant example you are to me.